Sunday, January 24, 2010
Three steps forward....one step back
We have been home now for about three weeks and I feel like Madison is making huge strides... My goal this week was to get our family back into a “semi-normal" routine (yeah right!) As you will read below, it will become evident that our theme this week ended up being three steps forward and one step back.
By the end of the week, I was feeling a little out of sorts and the control freak in me combined with being cooped up because of the rain wasn’t helping matters! I began to miss work and craved adult conversation and was struggling to try to figure out a new schedule that allowed me to accomplish what I needed to do around the house, not be bored with the laundry and dishes, and didn’t include me napping when Madison napped. As I write this I still haven’t quite figured it all out but, I have decide to take one day at a time and enjoy every minute I am home with Madison even if it is a crazy busy day with no schedule or a lazy day snuggling in bed, because once I go back to work I will be missing these days and I will never get them back!
Overall, Madison is transitioning well and is like a little sponge soaking up English. She was definitely meant to be our daughter and it feels like she has always been a part of our family. It cracks me up, because she is sassy and independent like me but, also so stubborn like John. The full blown temper tantrums have lessened but the whining and fussing when she is unhappy has increased. She is ALL girl and loves wearing dresses and being the center of attention. She is also a total daddy's girl, if John scolds her she melts down and acts like the world is ending (yes she is a drama queen!). She also has him completely wrapped around her finger and knows it.
Playing and singing with her Tad and Violet dolls are one of her favorite things to do but she also loves playing with her baby dolls and is a very good little mother. She is total nurturer and loves to wrap the babies up in blankets, stroller them around and feed them bottles. Madison is also what I call a "collector" like her brother; she collects things that don’t belong to her (like our doorstops, things off my night stand and etc...) and puts them in the bottom of her shopping cart for safe keeping. At least with her, I know her hiding spot now, unlike her brother who’s spot I can never seem to figure out!
Jake and Madison are "working" on their jealous issues (with help from me and John). She is much better about not hitting him when we show him affection but, now she is on to pinching him when he touches her toys or gets too close for comfort. Most of the time though she mimics what he does which of course he loves. Some days are easier than others with them but, I am so proud of Jake. He is handling this transition like a champ and even though it hurts his feelings when she is mean to him, he is talking to us about his feelings rather than taking any anger or hurt he feels out on her.
After two weeks of battling jet lag and insomnia, I am happy to report though, that this mama is finally on a somewhat decent sleep schedule. It took Jake about a week to get back into the swing of things and with Madison it's a work in progress, I did realize that the poor baby not only has been going through all these changes and transitions but was also was cut off, cold turkey from her bottle. Yes... you read right she was still on a bottle. One afternoon I finally read the baby book the foster family filled out and it stated that she was taking an afternoon and nighttime bottle. So I decided (with John's support) to reintroduce her nighttime bottle (you don’t have to agree with my decision but, please respect it!).The first night I gave it to her, she rolled her eyes back in her head and was moaning (yes moaning) while she sucked it. She was sooooooooo happy with her bottle that after she was finished she rubbed my check and gave me a big (unsolicited) kiss!! That cemented it for me…I had made the right decision. It was also the first night she slept in her bed and actually went down without a fuss or fight. Finally, I had her nighttime routine figured out and hoped we would all get sleep we needed and wanted! Well... that lasted about four days and now she is cutting her two year old molar and has been up and down during the night but, she is sleeping in her own bed for part of the night, so it is a beginning but I am afraid sleep will for this mama will be a continually battle for some time.
Now that I had the nighttime routine established with Madison it was time to work on our daytime one. Well... so much for that!! John was home all week, as there was no work due to all the storms. The first few days were fine but, by Friday we all had CABIN fever, lucky I had errands to run or else I am sure we would have been on each other’s last nerve!! John being home did help with his "bonding" with Madison as I had lunch plans one day, Jake school & PTA stuff a couple of other days (which is a whole other post or rant that I will save for another time!. John being home allowed me not to have to drag Madison out in the rain and the good thing is I now can leave her with John and she doesn’t cry or freak out and actually doesn’t give me dirty looks when I return. Unlike last week when I left her with him for about 2 hrs (to attend a PTA mtg) and when I returned she was pissed at me and threw me dirty looks for about 2 hrs and then clung to me the entire next day! So on that front there has been a HUGE amount of progress.
We began our weekend with a Friday afternoon play date. But this wasn’t just any play date it was Madison’s 1st play date! We went over to the "other" Silva's (as I like to call them!) and both Madison and Jake had a great time!! I am thrilled Madison has a friend her own age and can't wait to have another play date with them. It was so much fun to see her play with other girls. People say boys and girls are way different but, I don’t think until you parent both you realize how true that statement is.
On Saturday we went to our adoption agency and were the panel family for their adoption class, meaning we talked about our adoption experience and got a chance to show Madison off. I hope that we were able to get the prospective adopted parents there to consider China's special needs program and also to consider albinism as a need that they could be open to. After leaving the agency it was time for lunch and to get Jake off to his baseball clinic and Madison down for a nap. After baseball we met up with our friends for dinner which meant Jake got to hang out with his best buddies. Dinner was fun as it was the first time Madison had been out with us and the gang. When you get all thirteen of us together there is bound to be craziness but also a lot of fun. Madison of course was darling and well behaved, more than I can say for her brother!
Hopefully John will work this week and as much as I want to work on getting our routine down, I don’t think it’s going to happen and that is okay. Madison and I have a busy week ahead of us as we have doctor and dentist appointments and even a play date (or maybe two) scheduled this week.